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Submitted on
August 24, 2012
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(Contains: sexual themes)
Canada x Reader – Canadian Car Head

Car head...road head...same thing. It's when you suck a penis in a car. It can cause I'd advise against it.
However, it's fun to write about, so here.
Sorry for the crappy perverted scene...but I'm in a bit of an 'IDGAF' mood...lolol

Traffic was slow this time of day – afternoon rush hour. It was also winter, and hence it was snowing something fierce.

'My boyfriend is the country of Canada.' You thought to yourself in annoyance. 'He sees the Prime Minister on a daily basis, he's hundreds of years old and doesn't look older than twenty, he's been to every country out there, he's fought in both world wars, he played a part in the advancement of the world...' You sighed.
'And we're stuck in traffic.'

You were a right bit sour about it.
Half a year ago, your fourth anniversary had swung by and failed epically, since Matt couldn't weasel out of work for an entire week. You understood, though; one couldn't simply quit being a country.
So, wanting to keep the whole 'dates matter, let's not do this on a random day' thing in check, you had planned to do something on the four-years-six-months mark.


In the past year, you'd only had sex eight times.
Eight. Times.
'That's less than once a month!!!

You were a little tense about that, too. You had wanted to walk in your front door, throw your clothes off, and jump your sweet boyfriend.


"______? Are you alright? You look a little ticked off." The quiet sound that you called Matthew's voice, wondered.

You sighed loudly.
He already looked drained. He would be half asleep by the time you got home.

But.....he wasn't drained right now....

So you pouted. "Oh...I'm not irritated." You assured. "Just disappointed. We missed our anniversary a while back, so I was gonna go all out and do something romantic-y tonight... but nope. Fuckin' traffic says we're not allowed to be back at the house until bedtime."
You ran your hands down your body, oblivious, innocent and teasing.

Canada's eyes followed your movements, and you barely contained a satisfied smirk.

"We haven't been together in so long, too...I was hoping to end the evening with a bang, if you catch my drift. I even went underwear shopping with Miss Hungary and Miss Ukraine! The set that I bought...I couldn't stop staring at myself! I mean, seriously. You know how rare it is that I find myself sexy. Had it been a clone of me, rather than a reflection, I'm afraid I would've had to leave you for a woman."

You watched as Matt squirmed uncomfortable in his seat.

"You probably would have liked the colours, too... I never thought it would, but red and white actually look really good on me! Oh! And the bra hooked together in the front! There was even a little maple leaf on top of the clasp!"
You flopped back in your seat dramatically.

"And now you won't get to see it for a long time! I'm swamped at work for the next two months, and by the time that is finished, it'll be spring and you'll be busy planting crops and stuff. I guess that also means we won't be getting any sex, either..."

"______!" Your boyfriend cried, looking at you with saucer eyes. You looked at him cutely, tipping your head to side for good measure. "You need to stop talking about your cute new underwear! You''re giving me a...problem..."
You saw him blush when he angled his head downwards ever so slightly.

You  already knew his issue, though.

You had planned it from the start.

"That didn't take long~" You giggled. "I was running out of things to say, though, so I'm glad you got it up quick."
Your sweet little Canadian was looking at you like you'd just grown a second head, but you didn't notice. You were too preoccupied with peering around for O.P.P cars* and cameras. Then, once you deemed the coast to be clear, you unbuckled your seatbelt and sunk below the windowline.

"_-______!? What are you doing?!" Canada shrieked (which was actually quite loud, believe it or not). You didn't bother to look up at him when you answered, too busy with the buttons on his pants.
"Just be happy that I'm the kind of girl who likes sucking her boyfriend's dick." You told him swiftly, chuckling at his boxers, which had little cartoon moose all over them.
You pulled those down a bit as well.

"I'm..." You tugged some more on his underwear, allowing his member to spring free. You blushed at the sight, a small amount of your in-the-moment-bravery suddenly slipping away.
But you dealt with it, leaning forward to lay a feather kiss on an exposed part of his hip.

" you..." You moved back to his shaft, blowing a tiny breath of air on it whilst giving a few experimental strokes.

Matt inhaled sharply, and you smiled.

" head..." You then licked your lips and claimed your prize.

You only took him in deeply for the first few seconds, after which you nipped and sucked at the tip, swirling your tongue around the top and dipping it into the slit. Canada groaned shakily at the last one; a noise you rarely managed to get out of him. He thought it was too vulgar for lovemaking.
To you, it was a reward for surprising the hell out of him.

You ran the entirely wet pad of your tongue along the underside of his cock, saliva gathering at the corner of your lip, and slipping out, dripping of your chin.

Matt was shaking.
"_-______..." He squeaked. "As much as I love this...t-the cars are...starting to m-move....I need to- ah!....d-drive....!"

You furrowed your eyebrows and tugged on his erection, squeezing harder than necessary.
"If you need to drive, drive." You replied, as if it was that easy. "I'm nonexistent right now; it's only you in the car." Then, before her could protest further, you took him completely into your mouth and throat, not stopping until your nose was buried in the fuzzy blond hairs at the base of his manhood.

"_-_____!! You need to sto- ahn!" He slumped forward against the steering wheel when you none-too-gently dragged your teeth along his shaft -it sounded violent, but you knew it drove him crazy- causing him to bump against the car horn.
Several people gave him dirty looks, according to his complaints, but like the good girlfriend you were you told him to shut his face and deal with it because you were sucking him off in the middle of the freeway.

"______! You really need to stop before I run into someone!"

Several times he had moved his foot away from the gas pedal, you noticed. He was close. He wasn't allowed to protest anymore! He would come, and he would god damn like it.
Hence, you didn't care if you stuck your middle finger up at his words.

So you pushed him over the edge, causing him to press his foot down on the gas...right as traffic came to a halt.

Your vehicle came to a stop by collision, a slightly sickening 'clunk' echoing in your ears.

"Fuck!" Matt cursed in both the heat of the orgasm, and from the fact that he just rear-ended someone.

You swallowed the sticky substance that had been released into your mouth.
"Shit." You hissed, fixing Canada up quickly. "I'm so sorry Mattie! I seriously didn't think we'd hit anyone! No one's dead, right? If they are, we could probably make a run before-"
You paused when you saw what you'd hit.

Seemingly a regular car...but there...tattooed on the bumper...was O.P.P.

"Shi-i-i-it!!" You sobbed dryly, looking around frantically for any means of escape.

So you were very startled to find your beau sitting next to you calmly, holding a rectangular laminated ID between his fingers.

...countries didn't have IDs....

A few seconds later, the cop from in front of you tapped on the window. Matthew rolled it down without hesitation, shivering slightly when a handful of flurries tumbled in through the opening.

"License and registration, sir." The man ordered, and it was easily handed over.

"...holy crap..." The officer squeaked as he read over the tiny piece of plastic, his eyes widening. "You're Matthew Williams? Holy crow, bro! You're,'re one of the best Canadian Cops ever!! Everyone on the force knows about you!!! Omigod!!! Oh! No! I'm on duty! I can't do this now!!!" He huffed a few times and composed himself enough to seem serious.
"Well, I've seen this sort of thing happen lots of times today, and I know for sure that you wouldn't drive recklessly. I'm guessing you hit ice?"

Your now-sly boyfriend nodded. "I'll pay for any damages done to your vehicle, son." The blond declared, but the young cop shook his head.
"No no no! It was just a bump! There's isn't even a scratch, see?" he pointed at his bumper and slowly backed away, giving a small wave. "Drive safely Mister Williams, and Mister William's Friend!" Then he skipped away while you sat there in shock and silence for a few minutes.

Once traffic was moving again, you stared determinedly at the guy beside you.
"Since when have you been a cop?"

He shrugged.
"I needed something to do in my spare time...before I met you, of course. I spending time with you better, so I retired when I was shot in the leg."

"When did you get shot?!" You cried, alarmed.

"Never! I needed an excuse to retire so I could be with you!"

You were silent again for a while.
...then finally, "Did you have a police uniform?"

"Yes, ______, I was an officer."

You nodded slowly.
"Do you still have it?"

Mattie chuckled. "Of course I do! I like to keep these things as memories, y'know. Why do you ask?"

You glared at him hungrily, wetting your lips slowly. "Find it as soon as you get home and put it on. You're fucking me in it."

He raised an eyebrow. "Do you really have those underwear you were talking about?"

It was your turn to raise a brow. "Why sweetheart...I'm wearing them!"

He stared at you blankly.
... "Traffic hurry the fuck up!!!"
So there, because I said so.

No like, no read.

There aren't enough stories about sucking penises.


Comment, my lovlies~
Add a Comment:
galaxygirl45 Mar 15, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
You captured my personality perfectly and i agree there aren't enough stories about sucking dicks.
Chrissytude Mar 10, 2014  New member
"Traffic hurry the fuck up"

cue people giving me weird looks as I start randomly laughing and I'm reading this in my noght class
bubbleonfire Feb 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I burst out laughing when Matthew yelled at traffic at the end!!! Such a good story!!!
Jessie60 Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
*blushes and faints*
ct82010 Jan 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
nikkyrod2 Jan 24, 2014  New member Hobbyist Writer
That was funny yet sexy at the same time. 030 I LOVED IT!!
LauraNinjaOfRainbow Jan 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
*drowns in blood*
Wow looks lik Mattie will b getting some
Ladyebug88 Nov 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
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